SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS
by randomle26
Summary: Arachnophobia. Fear of spiders or scorpions. The reactions of arachnophobics are often irrational. It is one of the most common specific phobias, and some statistics show that 50% of women & 10% of men show symptoms. It may be an exaggerated form of an instinctive response that helped early humans to survive. (WIKIPEDIA)


**AN: Here's a random Morganville one shot… I'm in a Morganville mood. It's completely OOC because I'm bored and I thought this idea was a little amusing.**

**The Title actually takes after then name of the band **_**SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS**_** (I didn't use one of their songs, I just think they have a cool name… that's completely their own). **

**Please ignore any errors and I hope you enjoy reading it.**

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Shane sat uncomfortably next to the black _thing_ on his dinner table- almost completely forgetting his big plans to ditch work and just kick back with a good zombie game.

"Claire!" he summoned for the umpteenth time that morning.

His girlfriend finally waltzed towards him. She sassily had her hands on her hips and glared at her older boyfriend, "What?"

"Why is there a spider on our table?" he asked.

Claire Danvers shrugged casually, as if seeing a spider on the table was completely part of their daily routine. "Because I'm not going to put him on the floor, do you know who might step on him?"

"No," Shane clarified, "I mean why is he here? Why is he here in the house?"

"Bob wanted to see what my home life is like?"

"Really?" Shane asked in shock, "Did _Bob_ tell you that?"

Claire rolled her eyes, "Mrynin asked me too look after him while the fumigate the lab… again."

Of course the trapdoor spider had his own spider. And his girlfriend had just been promoted from lab assistant to arachnid caretaker.

Claire took out a petri dish from her messenger bag, and put a dead fly on the table for Bob to feast on. Shane did all he could to keep all internal vomit _internal_.

"Oh, c'mon Shane, spiders need to eat too," she said, "stop being such a baby. What if we have kids and I have to feed them all that mushy foods?"

Shane gulped, "If your kids are going to be eating flies for dinner, then we have a problem?"

Claire rolled her eyes at her over exaggerative boyfriend. She lightly slapped the back of his head, "Watch him. I have to go to the bathroom."

"But Claire," he whined loudly. She decided to brush off his complaints and just kept walking towards the toilet.

Shane looked back down at the black arachnid on their dining table. "Something seems off about you…"

Bob seemed to ignore Shane's loud observations. Instead, the eight-legged creature began crawling towards Shane. He got to his fingers and began to lightly poke at Shane's cuticles.

"Claire, it's trying to bite me!" he yelled.

"You're crazy, Shane," she replied from her place in the bathroom.

He continued to try and swat the little thing but Bob wouldn't budge. "Ow! Claire get here, now!" he demanded

Claire came back into the dining room to see that Bob was indeed stuck to Shane. She tried picking up the arachnid from his turning-pale skin, but Bob wouldn't budge. "Bob, what is wrong with you?"

"Does it matter? Get him off!" Shane pleaded in an irritated tone.

Claire was about to pull Bob off until she heard a rather large knock at the door. She huffed before walking over to the doorway, ignoring Shane's cries to take care of him first. When she opened it, Claire couldn't help but do the squeamish thing and fall back and scream.

Anyone would if they found some big-ass giant black widow in their doorway.

Claire now understood how scared Ron was in the Forbidden Forest during the _Chamber of Secrets_.

"C-can I help you?" she stuttered out. It was rather clear to her that not inviting the spider in wouldn't do any good, just as slamming the door would be completely useless. It was like Pennywall in spider form.

"I am looking for my son."

"You're… you're son?"

"Yes… you refer to him as 'Bob'?" the spider enunciated in rather perfect English.

Claire hesitantly got up from her place on the Glass House, "O-okay," she stuttered and lead him towards the dining room.

She was currently leading a giant spider into her living room.

She knew she spent time in Morganville for a while, but this was pushing all the social norms.

Entering the dining room, Claire saw Shane looking almost lifeless when Bob finally hopped off him. She rushed over to his body, putting her hand over his cold forehead.

"That's Claire, right?" the big spider said to Bob.

She turned around and stared at the two spiders conversing naturally. As if any of this was natural.

"What did Bob do to him?" Claire demanded answers.

"He just fed," the bigger spider answered nonchalantly.

"I thought spiders don't suck on blood!"

"Only the small ones," the large arachnid answered evilly, just before capturing Claire in one of his big legs.

Claire couldn't help but close her eyes and whimper and scream out. The big spider brought her closer to his face and whispered, "_Claire_."

Claire finally opened her eyes to see Michael and Shane looking down at her. She panted lightly and thanked the universe for the fact that it was only a nightmare (and mentally threatened them simultaneously because of the terrifying nightmare).

"You okay, Claire?" Michael asked with concern.

She nodded and ran a hand through her thick hair, "Just… just a bad dream."

"Well you slept through your alarm," Shane informed, "Don't you have to go to work soon?"

Claire's eyes widened to about the size of that large spider in her dream

Go to the lab.

See Mrynin.

See Bob.

Claire pushed past them and quickly headed for the bathroom.

Michael and Shane cringed uncomfortably to the sound of Claire heaving.

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**I know… this was really weird. I was really bored and unmotivated. **

**I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Please Read and Review**


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